Mezcal
Assholes
The brands where celebrity, marketing, and profit matter more than what's actually in the bottle. Names named. Receipts provided.
The Stupidity of
Destroying Your Own Brand
Imagine you own a three-Michelin-star restaurant. You've spent decades building a reputation for excellence. Chefs dream of working in your kitchen. Food critics write love letters about your tasting menu.
Then one day, you decide to license your name to a frozen food company. Your signature dishes—now microwaveable. Your legacy—now in the freezer aisle next to Hot Pockets.
"Is money more important than your brand?
Is money more important than truth?"
These are questions every celebrity tequila owner should ask themselves at 3am.
When you sell a billion-dollar brand to a conglomerate, you're not just cashing out—you're handing over your reputation. When that conglomerate allegedly fills your "premium" tequila with industrial alcohol, your name is on the bottle.
When you charge $170 for a pretty ceramic bottle filled with sweeteners and glycerin, you're not building a luxury brand—you're running a confidence game on people who trust you.
The Short Game
Cash out. Cut corners. Hope nobody notices. Pray the lawsuits settle quietly.
The Long Game
Build something real. Protect your name. Let quality speak. Leave a legacy worth having.
Some chose the short game. Here's who they are.
The Dirty Truth About "100% Agave"
Here's what they don't want you to know: even "100% agave" tequila can legally contain additives. Up to 1% of the total volume can be:
Sweeteners
Sugar syrups, agave nectar, artificial sweeteners to mask harsh flavors
Glycerin
Adds artificial "legs" and mouthfeel to cheap product
Caramel Coloring
Makes young tequila look aged and premium
Oak Extract
Fake barrel aging flavor without the time investment
The CRT (Consejo Regulador del Tequila) allows all of this. The "additive-free" label some brands use? It's voluntary and unregulated.
The Diffuser Shortcut
Diffuser Method (Industrial)
- • Raw, uncooked agave shredded
- • Chemicals extract sugars
- • No caramelization, no complexity
- • 24 hours vs 3+ days traditional
- • Requires additives to taste acceptable
Traditional Method (Craft)
- • Agave slow-roasted in ovens
- • Natural caramelization of sugars
- • Complex flavors develop naturally
- • Takes days, not hours
- • No additives needed
The Wall of Shame
These brands prioritize profit over authenticity. Names named. Evidence provided. Better alternatives suggested.
Casamigos
tequilaGeorge Clooney (sold for $1B)
$45-55
THE EVIDENCE:
- •2025 lawsuit: Blanco contains only 33% agave-derived ethanol (Mezcalistas)
- •Reposado allegedly only 42% agave-derived — rest is industrial alcohol
- •Carbon isotope testing proves non-agave alcohol content (court filing)
- •Beau du Bois (VP Puesto restaurants): 'Removed Casamigos from the menu'
- •Sold to Diageo for $1 billion — then quality allegedly tanked
- •Tequila Matchmaker: 'At least 70% of tequilas contain undisclosed additives'
WHAT YOU GET:
Celebrity marketing, 67% mystery alcohol, a lawsuit
DRINK THIS INSTEAD:
Fortaleza, G4, Pasote - real 100% agave, no additives
Clase Azul
tequilaNone (just expensive bottles)
$170+
THE EVIDENCE:
- •Confirmed additives: vanilla, glycerin, artificial sweeteners, caramel coloring
- •Beau du Bois (VP Puesto): 'Removed Clase Azul from the menu'
- •PUNCH Magazine: 'Tastes like sticky birthday cake' after additive demo
- •Tequila Hombre YouTube: Additive test confirms glycerin and sweeteners
- •$170+ for what costs pennies to adulterate — the bottle is the product
- •Reddit consensus: 'Garbage. For the college and Wall Street crowd.'
WHAT YOU GET:
A decorative bottle, a sugar bomb, Instagram clout
DRINK THIS INSTEAD:
El Tesoro, Tapatio, Siete Leguas - tradition, not theater
Dos Hombres
mezcalBryan Cranston & Aaron Paul
$40-50
THE EVIDENCE:
- •MezcalReviews.com: 2.5/5 rating — among the lowest rated mezcals
- •User review: 'Literally the worst alcoholic beverage I have ever tasted'
- •User review: 'Tastes like hand sanitizer'
- •User review: 'Hard to find a worse drink for half the price'
- •User review: 'Watered down, burnt rubber, flat'
- •Sin Gusano: 'Celebrities flying in to make a lifestyle brand... water it down'
- •Sold minority stake to Constellation Brands — the corporate machine
WHAT YOU GET:
Breaking Bad nostalgia, hand sanitizer notes, regret
DRINK THIS INSTEAD:
Del Maguey Vida, Banhez, El Jolgorio - actual craft
818 Tequila
tequilaKendall Jenner
$40-60
THE EVIDENCE:
- •Red flagged by tequila community
- •Sustainability claims questioned
- •Instagram followers ≠ distilling knowledge
- •Accused of cultural appropriation in marketing
- •Mass-market product with premium pricing
WHAT YOU GET:
Instagram clout, mediocre tequila
DRINK THIS INSTEAD:
Olmeca Altos, Cimarron, Arette - honest value
Cincoro
tequilaMichael Jordan & NBA owners
$70-1,600
THE EVIDENCE:
- •Extra Añejo priced at $1,600+
- •Basketball greatness ≠ tequila greatness
- •Overpriced relative to quality
- •More about status than substance
- •The 'I have money so I made tequila' approach
WHAT YOU GET:
Jordan branding, inflated price tag
DRINK THIS INSTEAD:
Ocho, Terralta, Cascahuin - quality at fair prices
Jose Cuervo Especial
tequilaNone (just industrial)
$15-25
THE EVIDENCE:
- •Mixto tequila - only 51% agave required
- •Diffuser production method
- •Responsible for tequila's bad reputation
- •The hangover factory
- •What people think tequila tastes like (it shouldn't)
WHAT YOU GET:
A headache and regret
DRINK THIS INSTEAD:
Literally any 100% agave tequila
Don Julio
tequilaNone (Diageo owned)
$50-150
THE EVIDENCE:
- •2025 lawsuit: Blanco allegedly only 42% agave-derived alcohol
- •2025 lawsuit: 1942 Añejo allegedly only 33% agave-derived
- •Carbon isotope testing proves non-agave alcohol (court filing)
- •Beau du Bois (VP Puesto): 'Don Julio will get the ax next'
- •Once respected, now a Diageo cash cow with questionable integrity
- •Premium price ($150+ for 1942), corporate production, lawsuit pending
WHAT YOU GET:
A brand that used to mean something, now means lawsuits
DRINK THIS INSTEAD:
Fortaleza, El Tesoro, Tequila Ocho - still family-owned
Sauza
tequilaNone (industrial)
$15-40
THE EVIDENCE:
- •Known for artificial sweetness
- •Harsh alcohol profile
- •Both mixto and 100% agave lines criticized
- •Diffuser production
- •Quantity over quality business model
WHAT YOU GET:
Chemical aftertaste and disappointment
DRINK THIS INSTEAD:
Espolòn, Olmeca Altos - better at same price
The Experts Have Spoken
Don't take our word for it. Here's what the people who actually know tequila and mezcal are saying.
"At least 70 percent of all tequilas sold contain additives. These producers are essentially making a neutral product, stripping away all the natural agave flavor. That is why they have to add flavor back in after the fact."
Grover Sanschagrin
Founder, Tequila Matchmaker
"We have celebrities and conglomerates flying in to make a 'lifestyle brand'. They find a producer, ask them to increase production and of course the forces of capitalism dictate that they water it down."
Sin Gusano
Mezcal Appreciation Society
"I've removed Clase Azul and Casamigos from the menu. Don Julio will get the ax next. Do you know if your favorite tequila is artificially flavored or not?"
Beau du Bois
VP of Bar & Spirits, Puesto Restaurants
"Carbon isotope ratio analysis proves that Casamigos and Don Julio products contain substantial quantities of alcohol that is not actually tequila."
Mezcalistas
Reporting on 2025 Class Action Lawsuit
"Mezcal isn't a lifestyle brand, it's a way of life that we should all pay more attention to protecting." — Sin Gusano
The Antidote
Want to drink spirits made by people who give a damn? Explore our curated lists of authentic producers.
Disclaimer: This page presents publicly available information, court filings, and community consensus. Some allegations are from ongoing lawsuits and have not been proven in court. We encourage readers to do their own research and make informed decisions. Our goal is education, not defamation.