In the chaotic symphony of culinary experiences, a cacophony of deceit has been playing out under the spotlight of our plates. Restaurants, once sanctuaries of savory delights, have been caught red-handed in a clandestine affair with the truth about their ingredients. It's as if the art of gastronomy has taken on a Shakespearean twist, with chefs whispering lies into the ears of unsuspecting patrons, rendering them participants in a culinary tragedy. The grand stage of deception has been set, and the protagonists are none other than vegans and the establishments they so cautiously enter.
The joke of Chinese restaurants growing up went like this when you sat down: "Hi, what do you recommend?" "I have heard the tofu is great." And they would respond "No MSG", not only not understanding the customer, yet not listening and not caring as every Chinese restaurant used it. And whilst the not savvy customer would believe them, they would eat it, get a severe tummy ache and never return again.
And let's not forget the audacious saga of Beyond Fried Chicken at KFC, where the boundaries of plant-based deceit were pushed beyond the fried frontier. "Is it vegan?" the masses cried, only to be told, "It's plant-based, but fried with the same chickens!" It was like being handed a ticket to a magic show and then discovering that the rabbit in the hat was actually a chicken. One couldn't help but wonder whose ingenious idea it was to dangle the carrot of plant-based delight only to reveal a frying pan sizzling with chicken's distant cousins.
The gluten-free frenzy, like a tornado of dietary restrictions, swept through, leaving restaurant owners in a daze of deception. "Gluten-free options available!" they'd proudly declare, only to slip in a soy sauce laden with the very gluten their customers sought refuge from. Flash forward to today's gluten free craze, which I am adopting to help overcome some inflammation issues with my foot and shoulder, when there is not gluten-free food the owner or server often fudges and shares something. Like something with soy sauce they recommend which has gluten of course.
Enter the farmer's market booth, a haven of fresh produce and bucolic charm. "No pesticides used," they'd proclaim, a melody of health and wholesomeness. But ah, the vagueness of language! For they conveniently left out the fact that while the pesticides stayed home, butter and cheese had slipped through the gates.
When at a non-vegan friendly restaurant, they tell you the spaghetti sauce is vegan, yet has butter and cheese in it. Or chicken stock. When you ask if there is dairy in the sauce and they say "I don't know let me check," brace yourself for a lie from the kitchen.
The Interrogation Protocol
Here are some key questions to ask restaurants to know what you are getting in this precarious day and age and lack of transparency:
What does "vegan friendly" mean? You are friendly to vegans or some things are vegan on your menu.
Are they listed on HappyCow, a wonderful resource for vegan ingredients?
Do you have an ingredient list?
Does "plant based" mean it's 100% vegan? NO. It means it is based on plants, that's why they don't call it vegan.
The Fryer Inquisition
When a place sells a vegan burger yet the fries that come with it are cooked where they cook chicken tenders. Always ask:
Do you use one fryer or two? What do you cook in each fryer? How often do you change the oil? What type of oil do you use? Many oils are not vegan.
The Lawsuit Landscape
In 2017, a prominent fast-food chain faced legal action after a vegan customer discovered that their advertised "vegan" burger contained mayonnaise made with eggs. In 2019, a vegan diner at a popular restaurant filed a lawsuit claiming severe allergic reactions due to cross-contamination. A well-known beverage chain faced legal action when a vegan customer reported dairy milk traces in their supposedly dairy-free milkshake. Restaurants and chains have faced legal action for misusing third-party vegan certifications — falsely displaying a vegan certification on dishes that contained animal-derived ingredients.
Essential Recommendations for Culinary Transparency
Require every restaurant to label and code their food and offer ingredient lists. V for Vegan, VG for Vegetarian, GF for Gluten-Free, DK? for things the restaurant doesn't know (they will probably work harder with this requirement).
Fine a restaurant $1,000 for lying to a customer and $5,000 for lying on a menu.
Open a website that reports infractions to a vegans/gluten-frees beware database.
In this dance of deception and revelation, vegans and restaurants twirl like celestial bodies, their orbits intertwined in a cosmic ballet. As the spotlight shifts, the audience remains vigilant, armed with the knowledge that in this culinary theater, truth is the ultimate delicacy, and honesty, the rarest spice.
